Grammar School Picture Books

Picture Books That Even Boys Will Like

As a literacy teacher/school librarian this year, I had the unique experience of trying to find books each week for a set of male triplets in the second grade. It was all they could do to sit still when they were together. What I discovered was that the books that entranced them, that they sat still for, and that they liked best, were books based on real stories about animals. Stories were more interesting to them, if they were "real".

Tara and Bella: the Elephant and Dog Who Became Best Friends, text and photography by Carol Buckley, is just such a book. Tarra, originally with a circus, was the first elephant resident at an elephant sanctuary established in Tennessee. Amiable and helpful by nature, she was the elephant who introduced all the other elephants, who soon joined her at the facilities, on the day to day workings of the sanctuary. Most of the elephants found another elephant to be a best friend, but only Tarra became best friends with a stray dog named Bella. When Bella was injured, Tarra's response may be surprising to some.

Another "true" story is Nubs: the True Story of a Mutt, a Marine and a Miracle, story by Major Brian Dennis, Kirby Larson and Mary Nethery. Thousands of wild dogs have recently been shot in Afghanistan, but Nubs' story, although at first harsh, has a happy ending. After living on desert rats and scraps thrown by Iraqi soldiers, Nubs traveled seventy miles to follow an American GI sent to train those soldiers, and the one who fed him his rations and bandaged his wounds. Marine Major Brian Dennis, so impressed with Nubs' determination to get himself adopted, started a collection to send Nubs home to the States, where they were finally joyfully united.

Two more true dog stories, illustrated in pastels and what looks to be watercolors, as opposed to photographs, are another book by Kirby Larson, The Two Bobbies: A True Story of Hurricane Katrina, Friendship, and Survival and Beth Finke's story about her own seeing eye dog Hanni, Safe and Sound. These two are especial favorites of mine, winners of the Henry Bergh Award (ASPCA).

Readers will need kleenex when reading The Two Bobbies. It is the story of a cat and a dog left during the Hurricane in New Orleans, who refused to be separated and who walked the streets alone for days before finally being rescued. The fact that the cat was blind, that she found her way by following the sound of a chain around his neck, and that the dog saved her from drowning and then protected her, will break your heart.

I was lucky enough to meet both Hanni (the dog) and Beth Finke (the owner) journalist and writer of her book Safe and Sound at an American Library Association Convention. Their story of mutual dependence and love, and her realization of all that the dog has had to give up to be a part of her life, will also make you cry. The illustrations are so life-like as to almost be photographs. The illustrator lived with Beth and her dog for a few weeks to make the book as realistic as possible.

Fictional Dog Stories Based on Reality

Most authors write at least partly from their own experience. Maybe that is why, The Five-Dog Night written and illustrated by Eileen Christelow rings particularly true. Who hasn't been part of a sleeping dog pack if he/she is a dog owner? I am not sure about you, but I have the fuzzy clothing to prove it. This funny story is about a farmer in Vermont and what he considers a "busy body"female neighbor who is worried he isn't piling the blankets on enough on cold winters' nights. He has a lesson to teach her.

Talking about winter, I think most children need a Christmas book, that one book taken out every year, that means the season is finally here.

My favorite book for that is a recent publication with the most beautiful almost life-like illustrations I have ever seen of cats, kittens and barn animals, On This Special Night, written by Claire Freedman and illustrated by Simon Mendez. You'll almost believe cats must have been there in that stable at Bethlehem.

Another holiday picture book both younger and older students will love is Cynthia Rylant's In November. Cynthia Rylant illustrated her first books, but somehow has been lucky enough to have as her illustrators some of the best in the business. School librarians will tell you that this is one of their favorite books for Thanksgiving, as everyone, including the house mouse, gets ready to hunker in for cold. Jill Kastner's

watercolors make the best use I have ever seen of white space and her painting of the farm animals and dogs, trees and family around the Thanksgiving table lend a feeling of warmth and security even as the snow begins to settle in.

Also unique is Cynthia Rylant's An Angel for Solomon Singer, with illustrated paintings by Peter Catalanotto. The story is a different one than those Ms. Rylant usually tells. It is the story of an old man, down on his luck. Forced to live in an old apartment in a city, he remembers the cornstalks of his boyhood home. He is desperately lonely, until he happens to walk into a restaurant with a waiter named Angel who makes him feel at home. Solomon Singer is a man who dreams of what once was, and who still has some simple dreams of the future, like of owning a cat. It is a story of kindness and community and love.

In my next blog, I will talk about books for children whose grandparents have died, or who may soon die. They are quiet and elegant books also about memory and the old and ensuring comfort for those who have to leave this life and those who are left behind.

Best Children's Books- Book Walks and Early Readers

As a school librarian/ literacy teacher, I have been lucky enough to work with students of all ages. During that time, I have seen which books children really like, and I have developed my own favorites.

First Books

Children love to be read to, and for parents, reading to their pre-school children can be both an enjoyable experience, a chance to be young again and remember the times their own childhood memories when their own parents read to them.

Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown is a book most parents and children love. It is a comforting book,where as the colors on the pages gradually fade, and the bunny child says good night to the familiar objects in his room and all the activity of his day, the reader is reminded of what remains unchanging and "right" in the world..."two little kittens and a pair of mittens" ..." "a comb and a brush and a bowl of mush"... Anyone who has ever studied the life of Margaret Wise Brown will experience the book on an even deeper level. She was one of the first authors to test her books on young children, and she did so at the Bank Street School. Childless herself, she studied what children were concerned with, what sounds they liked to hear. She was also lucky enough to collaborate with an editor who hired the latest modern art illustrators to create flat high contrast color paintings. Brown was a genius in her field; she was also one of the first to experiment with textures as in her book The Fur Family. Her early death was a loss for all.

Early readers have to be charmed at an early age. Librarians are taught that the way to hook in an early reader is to find a "just right" book, one that the child can experience success reading. For those too young to read, a picture book walk is just the thing, and Kindergarten teachers usually make their first reading of a book (most of the time they read a book to students three times) just that. Perfect for "book walking" are the Good Dog Carl books by Alexandra Day.

Text only appears on the first page of Carl's Christmas, as mother and father leave their black lab in charge of the baby as they go off to church. The fantasy adventures the dog and baby experience as the parents are away are enough to charm the most rambunctious reader. The book is a page turner, and children who can narrate the story from the pictures alone, can't wait to predict and then see what happens. Of course, there is a visit from Santa Claus.

First Chapter Books

Anyone who knows me, knows that my favorite early reading author is Cynthia Rylant.

Drawing from her own experience with her son and his dog, this Oregonian author shares her gentle world view in a number of series, most notably Henry and Mudge . I imagine that the author has spent a lot of time on her porch sipping lemonade with her neighbors, because that simpler lifestyle appears in both her Poppleton and her Mr. Putter and Tabby series. My personal favorite characters of hers are Mr. Putter and Tabby and their eccentric neighbors Mrs. Teabury and her "good dog" Zeke.

Mr. Putter is an old bachelor or widower, lucky enough to have retired before the Stock Market crashed. He has time on his hands, and is a bit lonely, so he goes to a shelter to find a pet as old and comfort-seeking as himself. Tabby, the gold cat who sleeps on his stomach, the refrigerator, and other strange spots, and who is just the listener he needs to listen to stories of his boyhood, shares his daily adventures. In Mr. Putter and Tabby Write the Book, like all of us, Mr. Putter has a hard time putting words on paper, and spends most of his time making snacks in the kitchen. Mr. Putter and Tabby Cook the Tea, Get the Cold, Stir the Soup and Walk the Dog, are so hilarious I am in stitches every time I read them. Arthur Howard's watercolors are perfect.

More autobiographical appears to be her Henry and Mudge series. Mudge, an enormous Mastiff, almost gets lost in the first book, and which young first grader hasn't worried about that. But, In the Sparkle Days , is a favorite. Set around the fall and winter holidays, it is the story of waiting for the first snow, making snow angels, firelight and the family all together for their feasts, including the
dog. As one of my students once said, "It's magic!"

I didn't think I could get into a story about a pig, but if Poppleton, like Harry Potter doesn't represent everything's that's good about being an Anglophile, then nothing does. Poppleton, like the hobbits in Lord of the Rings and Mr. Putter and Tabby likes his creature comforts, good food, the arts and most importantly, as in all of Cynthia Rylant's books, good friends. When winter gives him too many icicles he makes an icicle fence, and just when he thought his friends have forgotten him, they give him just the winter experience he always wanted in Poppleton in Winter.

So, before spring finally arrives, and while the weather is still raw, to kill the end of winter blahs and cabin fever, curl up with your children and a good book. It's just what the doctor ordered.

In my next blog, I will write about books for older grammar school students.

Good Writing Books and Websites

Well, it has been awhile since I posted, almost a year in fact, but I can honestly say I have grown as a writer( or at least a reader about writing!) I must have read about fifteen books on writing fiction and children's fiction, five screenwriting books, printed and read at least a couple of ink cartridges worth of web pages, listened to twenty audio books and read at least twenty-five YA books, not to mention the hundred or so children's picture books I looked at.

I once watched a You Tube video about a guy who got an offer of publication after having sent out one, only one, query letter. He said the secret was that he didn't send anything out until he had read forty books about his craft, how to figure out the proper agent and publisher who might want his book, and what the market presently was for each genre or subject. I said to myself, "OK, if it is all about preparation, and knowing your craft and market, I'll do the work." I now feel ready to go.

NaNoWriMo has been an enormous help, with their four page character motivation sheets and their scene synopses, that they so kindly shared, and Lia Keyes, from SCBWI, provided names of great screenwriting sites like Marilyn Horowitz's and Alexander Sokoloff's. I can honestly say I learned more from these sites than from anything else, and envy anyone who has been able to get an MFA in both screenwriting and creative writing. And I have benefited from sites that suggested outlining as opposed to writing from the seat of one's pants.

But what about the books I read....Which books might benefit other readers? Not being a published author, myself, none of this rambling is meant to criticize any author, only to say this is what worked for me at certain stages.

On Screenwriting

• Best of the best is Sandra Scofield's The Scene Book: A Primer for the Fiction Writer. Want to know what a beat is, pulse, where to begin a scene, how to open one and what makes a good opening line? This is your book.She believes that seeing your scene helps you to write it and that screenwriters are just more visual.
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• Another book highly recommended to me was Jack M. Bickham's, Scene and Structure. I have to say it is not as easy to comprehend as the former. It talks about establishing the goal in a scene, the structure of the scene, all-dialogue scenes, all-action scenes, and I must say sometimes I found it hard to follow, but as I said, it has been highly recommended.
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• Getting Yourself Ready to Write

• There is nothing quite like Natalie Goldberg for teaching a budding author how to open up and what to focus on. She talks about relaxation techniques like slow walking, the benefits of writing somewhere public like in a cafe, how her own personal life impacted her work, how Buddhism helped her find the quiet within, how other authors' work impacted hers, how writing can save one's life. I'd like to read her Thunder and Lighning again and her Writing Down the Bones: Freeing the Writer Within. I especially liked how she advised using her loneliness, writing is such a solo activity, as an impetus to express herself and communicate with others. I also especially liked her Wild Life with all of its writing exercises; they would be good shared at crit group meetings.

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• Stephen King's On Writing, also has been widely hailed. I personally found the book difficult to read because he relates how his own tough childhood in the 1950's effected him, and these were my difficult times as well. It was only at the end of each chapter that I found the kernel of the writing craft that I was seeking. To me, his autobiography sometimes got in the way. I got the sense of how difficult writing is from both Natalie Goldberg's and Stephen Kings' books, and at the time I was reading them, I think I needed a little more encouragement.
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• Which brings me to Annie Lamott's One Bird at a Time and Jane Yolen's Take Joy. The former speaks about quelling one's self-critics, the doubting part of oneself that says good writing can't be done except by those exceptional few and the secret of focusing on just one paragraph at a time, having faith in the process, believing that themes and the important parts of a story will somehow surface on a page. But then, faith is one of the thing that Annie Lamott sells very well.
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• Jane Yolen's book, written in 2003, opens with one of my favorite poems by a monk, Fra Giovanni, from Medieval Times...."The gloom of the world is but a shadow, and yet within our reach is joy. Take joy!" I try to tell myself that Ms. Yolen, probably the most prolific author I know of, can say this, because she has written so many fairy tales and myths, not realistic YA fiction, but I think no matter what one writes, the process of finding the answers within oneself can be as hard as giving birth. Both of these writers' books are ones to be read late at night when one needs a boost of encouragement.
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• Brenda Ueland's If You Want to Write: A Book about Art, Independence and Spirit, I thought might be dated, as the first copyright date was 1938. I was pleasantly surprised to find that it was just as timely now as then. Her main advice was to tell the truth and only write about what one wants and loves. I earmarked practically every page. She believed everyone had the creative spirit and had something to say.
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• If you want to know what other contemporary writers have to say about how they work, deal with frustrations and the joys of writing, a former editor in chief of The Washington Post Book World, Marie Arana, has put together a volume of fifty writers' biographies and essays they have written in her book entitled The Writing Life: Writers on How They Think and Work. Authors included are Jimmy Carter, Erica Jong, Joyce Carol Oates, and David Halberstam. I especially enjoyed reading about the latter, as he grew up in the house behind me and had some unique insights.

Memoirs

My first attempt at writing was in the area of a memoir, so I wound up reading alot about this genre. I found memoir painful to write, even though there was much I wanted to say about my experiences in the women's movement. I was surprised to find how often the Pulitzer was awarded in this area...nothing like aiming for the impossible! I later switched to fiction writing.

Some good books:

• I began with Russell Baker, but found his style was not exactly contemporary, but his Growing Up and The Good Times taught me the importance on dealing with short periods in a life and centering the story around major influences, like the influence of his mother and wife in his life.
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• Jane Gould's The Writer in All of Us: Improving Your Writing Through Childhood Memories was my obvious next step, and she spoke about prewriting steps like meditating and clustering. This is a good book for an adult workshop on capturing one's memories to write down for posterity.
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• Natalie Goldberg also wrote a book about memoir, Old Friend from Far Away: the Practice of Writing Memoir. This book was extraordinarily helpful with its exercises, again a book I earmarked alot. She teaches how to focus and speaks about how food is often at the center of her writing. Childhood memories of favorite foods and books often figure in her work.
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• Maybe that is why I also liked Annie Dillard's An American Childhood and The Writing Life. Finding a second hand book Erica Jong had signed for Ms. Dillard in my public library and realizing that she lived, taught and wrote in the next town also helped. But, I loved how Annie Dillard described her early childhood in Pittsburgh in terms of the books she read and the discarded objects she found on the street that she thought were treasures. I loved her voice. No one writes with as much detail as Ms. Dillard.
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• I had discovered Louise DeSalvo a while back, an Italian American writer and a college professor who was featured in a little known book about her ethnic group called The Dream Book. I knew that being Italian had a lot to do with being the person that I am, and until I discovered this author, had not found any other women writing about my experience. Her book Writing as a Way of Healing and her books are very transformative.
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• Inventing the Truth: the Art and Craft of Memoir, edited by William Zinsser and containing essays on the craft by Annie Dilliard and Frank McCourt, was also an excellent source on this subject.

Writing and Revision in General

• Among the books that were either given to me at literary conferences, or highly suggested were Donald Maass's Writing the Breakout Novel: A Workbook which is probably today's bible for beginning a novel in the middle of the action, for shortening the amount of the description of setting at the beginning of the book, and just adding it in dribs as one goes along. A good first workbook.
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• Alice Orr's No More Rejections: 50 Secrets to Writing a Manuscript That Sells was also well earmarked. She gives good ideas for creating compelling characters and the importance of a great opening sentence.
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• Noah Lukeman's The First Five Pages: A Writer's Guide to Staying Out of the Rejection Pile discusses and illustrates showing versus telling, choosing a point of view and the importance of conciseness.
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• Another book by Jack M. Bickham, The 38 Most Common Fiction Writing Mistakes (And How to Avoid Them), discusses putting passion and emotion in a book,the importance of letting the characters think in a book, the importance of not lecturing and being certain dialect is correct.
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• Manuscript Makeover: Revision Techniques No Fiction Writer Can Afford to Ignore by Elizabeth Lyon discusses timing and pacing and the five stage structure.

• Renni Browne, a former senior editor, and Dave King, also talk about editing in their Self-Editing for Fiction Writers: How to Edit Yourself into Print.
  

Children's Picture Book and YA Writing

I finally found my niche in Children's Writing. It made sense; I had been a teacher on every level from pre-school to college and I could say what I wanted to say in this format.

• Because I like to know the history of a genre, and because I am also a librarian, I first read Literature for Today's Young Adults by Kenneth L. Donelson and Alleen Pace Nilsen.

• William Zinsser, who has written about just about everything, wrote a book entitled Worlds of Childhood: The Art and Craft of Writing for Children in which Jean Fritz, Maurice Sendak and others discuss how they go about their work.

• There are a number of books that deal with the number of pages in a children's book, how to create a storyboard, writers' guidelines, and the difference between picture books and chapter books. Among them are Tracey E. Dils You Can Write Children's Books, new young author Cynthea Liu's Writing for Children and Teens (very clear), Uri Shulevitz's Writing with Pictures: How to Write and Illustrate Children's Books (highly recommended at an SCBWI convention). One of my favorites is Writing Picture Books: A Hands-on-Guide from Story Creation to Publication. Others are How to Write a Children's Book and Get It Published by Barbara Seuling and Writing and Selling the YA Novel by K. L. Going, more aimed at the YA set.
  

• Want to know about book publishers and magazines for children? Writer's and Illustrator's Guide to Children's Books: Publishers and Agents by Ellen Shapiro.

It's Not Over Until the Fat Lady Sings

Writing and revising may be the easy part. There is still pitching and marketing.

• Want to find an agent? Making the Perfect Pitch: How to Catch a Literary Agent's Eye by New York agent Katharine Sands, is one of the most popular ones.

• Interested in doing your own publishing and marketing? Then you need to read The Book Publisher's Handbook with case studies, by Eric Kampmann.

Good Luck!

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What I Have Learned About Writing

I have been attending a lot of workshops lately about writing, as well as joining a number of author groups and critique groups. I will be eternally grateful to all of these for what I am learning.

But first, I would like to mention a few books I have recently read about the process (and I have ordered still more.) I taught creative writing for years, and taught English on the college level, but the whole field about writing and publishing is changing. Everyone is writing, and a lot of people are so intent on publishing, that they are self publishing (which gives one a lot more control over the process). so there is a lot to know. Marketing is a changing field as well, and I believe a lot of politics is probably involved as in most arenas. But publishing and marketing will be for another time.

Of course, there are those who say one should write just for the joy of writing, but those people, I think, must be independently wealthy or have a lot of extra time on their hands.

The Old School

For now, about writing....I am of the old school, from the days when a good novel was considered to be something like To Kill A Mockingbird. You know the kind of story; pages are spent on creating the scene, to capture a moment of time, and there is nothing I like better than to see a moment captured in time. Time flies; people and cultures die, and one can't help but look nostalgically to the past and wish those times and the people of those times still existed. When there was no TV, no internet, and reading was the main form of entertainment, I guess people liked it when an author helped create a world for them where he would set his characters.

The New School

But today, things are different. I went to a writers' conference last week and sat with an agent. She thought I had a good story, and that my writing was good, but told me I spent too much time in the opening explaining the setting. She said most people did not have time today or patience to wait for a whole chapter before real action began. They want to know right away what problem a main character has to solve in order to decide if they want to buy the book and spend some time with that character and those set of problems.

She also said there was not enough emotion in my first chapter, and that I needed to begin my story in the middle of the action. Readers, today, she said, want to know what emotion the main character is feeling-fear, or sadness, despair-to know if they want to go on that ride too.

Now I thought I had a lot of emotion in my story; there was sadness, a little fear, but like myself, the main character didn't show a lot of each. She said there was not enough of those emotions to make a reader feel for the character and turn the pages to find out what was going to happen. Of course I was a little disappointed; I had had some grandiose ideas that this agent would be so into the story and the plot, that she would immediately go to a publisher and get me an advance so I could live on an island somewhere and write full time. Wake up time!

Part of the goody bag that went with the conference was a book handed out to all participants entitled No More Rejections: 50 Secrets to Writing a Manuscript That Sells by Alice Orr. Not feeling like the agent was on my wave length, or wanted the same thing out of a book as I did, at first I did not think I'd get anything out of the book. When I finally read it, at first I was even a little repulsed by what I read there. According to Ms. Orr, the author of the book, if one wants to get an agent to really look at a book and to sell it to a publisher, one of the essential elements of a book is that there must be ""blood on the floor "on the first page or second page .

What is that you say? According to the book author, and the agent, most people today look at the back cover, the jacket flap, and the first two pages, or maybe just the first page. If they aren't grabbed or hooked by the writer on those first few pages, a potential reader is not going to buy or read the book, and an author might as well not waste his time writing it.

I thought about this theory, and as the agent suggested, looked at some of the books I was reading. One of them, Sue Monk Kidd's The Mermaid Chair made it to the top of the Best Sellers' List. You remember Ms. Kidd from The Secret Life of Bees. Sure enough, even though her book is about a woman's midlife crisis, there is real blood on the floor on the first or second page . I won't tell you how the blood got there, or what the plot is about, because I don't want to spoil the book for you, but there is definitely blood there.

Now truth be told, I am not a lover of blood. I bought the book because of the title and the fact that part of the story was based on a real mermaid chair in Cornwall England. I would read anything about Cornwall, England, one of my favorite places in the world, even recipes. And, I constantly remind myself, my favorite author, who writes essays about the changing seasons and her reflections on it, has no blood or much excitement in any of her books, which is why I read her books when I need some comfort or to calm down. The only conflict occurred when she was figuring out how to operate her new vacuum cleaner, shovel her way through snow to the mailbox, or how to pay the mortgage. But, after serious consideration, I think that today, that agent just may have her point, and the book as well.

Another point made by this book is that every scene included in a book must advance the plot. Now I am the kind of person who likes to dwell on what gives me pleasure, especially in writing., and especially when I am capturing historic or other periods in time. But again, just because I like something, doesn't mean a reader would (which is why I love crit groups, I never see my manuscript as others see it). So one has to be ready to cut out the extraneous.

Speaker Today

Which brings me to where I am today. I just heard Eileen Albrizio, an author, poet, writing teacher, and originally news journalist for National Public Radio, speak at a writer's group today.
When I asked her if she thought writing expectations had changed and mentioned To Kill A Mockingbird, she pointed out to me that Harper Lee's editor did serious editing at the beginning of the book, and almost rewrote the entire part with the vignettes about the townspeople. So even in the days of editors who spent days brushing up an author's work, which they don't do today, there was a lot of cutting.

Ms. Albrizio also had a useful tip for prewriting a novel. She said one should have a detailed sort of topic sentence (elevator speech) of one line saying who the character is and in detail what his inner and outer struggles are that are stopping him/her from achieving his/her goal. And she said the conflict, or problem (blood) should be first, because without that there is no story.

Another Writer on Writing

Of course, different people who write about writing, have different viewpoints on things, or emphasize different aspects. Another writer I have been reading a lot about lately, is Anne LaMott. She wrote Bird by Bird , a very popular writer's handout assigned in many college classes today. According to Ms. LaMott, who has more of a spiritual bent, and less of a commercial one, she believes that a writer shouldn't plan too much but let the unconscious lead where it may. She says she has a small frame on her desk with an inch of space in lieu of a picture, to remind her when she is blocked, that she only has to worry about one paragraph at a time. This tip came from her writer/father, who once told his 13 year old son, who was crying the day before he began a project on birds due the next day, and which he had postponed for three months, that the way to get through the project was just to focus on one thing at a time. Not much planning or prewriting here, unless you consider her technique, freewriting.

Another of Ms. LaMott's ideas I like is that if you do this, and maybe you aren't sure what your theme or motifs are, somehow, like a polaroid picture, those themes you hadn't quite figured out or the direction you want to go, will show through what you have written ,in time. I know that is how my writing works; sometimes I am not sure if an incident is essential to my work, but after I have written it down, I can see that there is a pattern to what keeps coming to mind and where I want the story to go.

But maybe the idea I like best of Ms. LaMott's, is that there are demons surrounding most of us that stop us from doing our writing. They may be the spirits of our parents that say we aren't supposed to tell family secrets or talk about certain subjects, or that we just aren't good enough. or have anything important to say. We all have those demons; she says to just ignore them because they are what stop writers from writing. I have learned to ignore those demons myself, and to just trust myself and the process.

Well, that is what I have learned about writing recently. I would love to hear about other writers' ideas or strategies or what they have recently learned.

Leadership

I was a leader in the 1970's. Often I was the only woman attorney in the courtroom then, and because of it, people just kept asking me to head organizations. I wound up being the first woman Chair of my local Economic Development Commission, drafting legislation,heading women's groups,helping the first women run for office, creating the first YMCA Latch Key Daycare, lobbying, speaking at colleges, and establishing a number of non-profit groups, among other things.

My family had not been leaders; they were more of the self-effacing, quiet types, and it was hard to figure just how to be. I am not sure I have totally figured things out; as the times change, so do the types of leaders that make it to the top. The people determine leaders, just as leaders influence the people.

But being a Christian, there was one thing I believed...never to ask someone to do something, I myself was not willing to do. I also believed in working side by side as a team...and having integrity.

My favorite leaders have been without a doubt ..Winston Churchill, to whom the whole world is indebted to for preserving democracy ( and who was also a wonderful self-taught artist), and my role model from way back...Abraham Lincoln...whose birthday I share.

A Great Book

I was lucky enough, a couple of months ago, to win a copy of a great book. I had taken a number of workshops on web 2.0 skills, and at a sort of giant workshop featuring the practical applications of wikis, blogs and other web 2.0 applications, there wound up being a kind of Jeopardy contest to see who had learned the most. I was one of the lucky people who walked off with a prize.

Lincoln on Leadership: Executive Strategies for Tough Times by Donald T. Phillips
was the prize. It most clearly sums up what I believe are the essentials of good leaders. It is a book lauded by Governor of New York Mario M. Cuomo, John Sculley, CEO of Apple Compuers, and Stephen R. Covey, author of the Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.

To summarize, the author believes that Lincoln was a man who knew how to influence people, who had tremendous courage, who knew how to be decisive, and who mastered the art of communication.

1. Regarding people skills:

• Lincoln knew enough to get out of his office and meet with the men who were doing the work for him
• He build good networks and alliances
• He was not a bully, but knew how to persuade others.

2. Regarding character:

• He never acted in a revengeful way
• He was an honest person and one of integrity
• He listened to his critics
• He dared to change his mind

3. Regarding his ability to lead:

• He had a clear vision
• He listened to others
• He mentored those he delegated work to, gave them a chance to succeed, but wasn't afraid to change those he delegated work to if they didn't produce results. General Grant's appointment was an example of this.
  
• He was a person who dared to think new things; he was the only President who ever obtained a patent for an invention. He was very interested in protecting men by looking into new weapons of defense, and invented one himself.

4. Concerning communication:

• He was an excellent public speaker
• Like Christ, he used storytelling to convey picture words to his audience
• He didn't try to talk above people to impress them, but at the most basic level everyone could understand with homespun stories- in his case, that the union must remain undivided.

All of this sounds easy to do, but of course it is not. In these troubled time, it is wonderful to have such a clear example of what leadership is supposed to be. People don't change; neither does human nature. What worked in the toughest times of the American experience,when family members were pitted against family members, could also work now.

Everyone should read this book; I could not possible convey how good it is, and nowhere else have I seen a more wonderful rendering of "Honest Abe". This book deserves to be bedside reading and enjoyed.

Taking Care of Yourself

If you don't take care of your body, no one else will. What will you live in when you wear out your body?

A while ago, I spoke about the importance of taking care of yourself when I heard that my young niece, aged 28, and with two kids under the age of five, had been diagnosed with cancer for the second time. The importance of this topic was further emphasized for me about two weeks later. Just after she was operated on, her Dad, in his 50's, was diagnosed with cancer,too.

They are an extremely close and loving family. Her Dad and Mom,who is my sister, in the space of a decade, have put three kids through college, paid for two weddings, had three grandchildren, gone on family trips camping and to Disneyland....in short, they have been "super" parents, and have had very little time for themselves.

My young nieces work more than full time, while trying to buy and make over houses, raise happy kids, help the grandparents....in short, do more than was ever expected of people since probably the pioneer or war years. It is impossible, and the growing number of women who are coming down with cancer in their 30's is a positive indication of this.

My experience
I am no authority, but I do know, that in the 1980's, after being one of the first women in law , then working three jobs as a teacher, I developed a tumor in my throat in my late 30's. I was lucky; mine was benign. When my doctor said my growth might recur, and that doctors weren't sure what caused it, I figured alot had to do with stress, and sought out people in the psychology field to find out, including going to a workshop where people from Harvard spoke, and attending a talk presented by Bernie Siegel, after I was lucky enough to hear about and read his books. I later wound up studying and certifying as a "body therapist", after researching, and hearing about another person interested in the psychogical causes of lots of illnesses.

Alexander Lowen, a "brainiac", who was among other things, an attorney, doctor, and therapist, created a form of psychotherapy called"Bioenergetics". He had made the connection between stress, people who felt "trapped" in some way and were not letting out emotions, and resulting illnesses, like cancer and tumors.

Overworked, and feeling that I could neither voice my needs or my complaints, I learned I had let them bottle inside, with the result that I once visited three doctors in one week. I had to I learn how to relax, find time to sleep, (I felt like I didn't even have time to go to the bathroom, and during my best years often had just five hours sleep), and let out my feelings. Twenty years later, my growth has not recurred.

To find the answer, I read like my life depended on it; it did!
I learned to take life slower, and that books often have the answers...or some of them.

These are books and authors I recommend if you are suffering from stress related illnesses...and I personally believe that most illnesses are. One of my favorite sayings is, "One does not die from an illness, but from one's whole life".

1. Greg Anderson's The Cancer Conqueror
2. Bernie Siegel's Love Medicine and Miracles
3. Louise Hay's You Can Fight for Your Life
4. John -Roger and Peter McWilliams Life 101
5. Jon Zabat Zinn's Full Catastrophe Living
6. Alexander Lowen's The Betrayal of the Body

What do these great minds say?

Greg Anderson emphasizes the importance of a positive attitude. If you feel like a victim, and act like a victim, you may become one. Instead think positive, and research to find answers for your illness, both in the area of rest, medicines, exercise, looking for support, and eating the right food. Believe you can conquer your illness.

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• Bernie Siegel says the same thing. Don't worry about being a "good patient"; the ones who live the longest aren't. They can be pains in the necks, but they push until they find answers. One has to be one's own coach and mediator. Sometimes the "cure" means getting away from toxic situations sometimes, like a bad job.

• Louise Hay, as well as Alexander Lowen, and Bernie Siegel, believe that "disease" or "un-ease" is a message from the body telling us that something is wrong with the way we are living. People inherit genetic predispositions to certain illnesses based on their ethnic or family background, but the people who develop an illness, do so, because the stressful circumstances in the environment wear out a person's immune system and the person is worn out. Louise Hay believes that each part of our body means something; people with heart attacks may really have "broken hearts".

• John Roger and McWilliams believe that people make a great mistake when they try to do everything at once. As they say, "You can have and do anything you want in life, but not all at the same time." The things you acquire require maintenance; one can't just pile up things and experiences ad infinitum. It was because of their wisdom and my tumor, that I worked just part time while raising my daughter.I know people think they have to work, and maybe do, while trying to do it all...but there is a price! Space it out!

• Jon Zabat Zinn talks about how to meditate and take time out for oneself....What is that? I can remember when I didn't even have ten minutes to do that. He speaks about a body scan daily. Many people are not in touch with their bodies at all and think they are machines. Take the time to ask yourself every day, "What hurts?" What is my body trying to tell me.
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• Other good people that have written about their illnesses
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• Larry King spoke about learning how not to panic during his heart attack, and Norman Cousins about the importance of finding humor in life, like watching comedies. He credits watching old ones with saving his life.

• Still other good people have talked about the benefits of having pets. For me, they are a salvation. They make me laugh, force me to exercise, show me how to relax, and make me feel loved and cared for unconditionally.

Again, I am not an authority, like at an AAA meeting, take what you can use and leave the rest.

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My New Year's Resolutions

This is going around in alot of emails; wish I knew who it was from...but it sure is true...

HANDBOOK 2010

Health:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants..
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
5. Make time to pray.
6. Play more games
7. Read more books than you did in 2009 .
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

Personality:
11. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Focus on what you can control.
13. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
14. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need..
18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with His/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree...

Society:
25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything.
28. Spend time w/ people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:
32. Do the right thing!
33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. GOD heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change..
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37. The best is yet to come..
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.